What is the Big Whoopie Deal?
"Cormac McCarthy Standard of Fiction or Shitty Nonfiction" said some dude who comes from Twitter. But that's unfair because he doesn't even mention Poetry and we publish Poetry too.
So if you want to read those kinds of things then head to our website and read for a bit. You'll either agree with that dude who comes from Twitter or you won't. And one way or another he would have been good marketing and publicity stunt pulls even if that wasn't his initial aim or intention.
We're trying to cut you in on the deal. Why everyone wants a piece of lanky striking pen from the second time we talked about it.
This is The Big Whoopie Deal.
Big Whoopie Deal is more what it isn't than what it is. It's about creating timing. Dropping the ball and then picking it up again. Flipping the inside door open to have a look around. It's not the most titilating example of literature but it goes to the same gala as Tom Hanks and The Team Of Class '93. Groundhog Day and Mrs Doubtfire. That's not even the same onion bag but someone has to parry it.
But what are we looking for, exactly?
Exactly is hard to say except to say read everything on our website. If you do read everything on our website and you still think that your writing is similar in some way or another and that the net might be wide enough for through-fare of cattle, then send it to us. If it sounds boring then it is and it isn't. Then there's The Surprise Package. The one that we didn't know we'd like but we did for some reason.
GENERAL SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:
Multiple submissions: obviously allowed.
Simultaneous: don't care. Don't eve notify us.
WORD COUNTS:
Flash: up to 1000 words.
Short Stories: 1000-8000 words.
Nonfiction: up to 8000 words.
Poetry: 5 poems max.
General Submission Guidelines
Multiple submissions: obviously allowed.
Simultaneous: don't care. Don't even notify us.
Double space all submissions. If you don't we call the police.
Flash: up to 1000 words.
Short Stories: 1000-7000 words.
Prize Terms and Conditions on our website.
Poets, knock yourselves out. The floor is yours. How ever many words. How ever you may wish to structure the thing. Just make it good.
General Submission Guidelines
Multiple submissions: obviously allowed.
Simultaneous: don't care. Don't even notify us.
Prize Terms and Conditions on our website.
General Submission Guidelines
Multiple submissions: obviously allowed.
Simultaneous: don't care. Don't even notify us.
Prize Terms and Conditions on our website.
0-5000 words.
We're looking for a Manuscript, our first, and second and hopefully on to the Penguin standards: Bog-Stanley reading books for washed pants and emerald cookies.
But what are we looking for, exactly?
Exactly is hard to say except to say read everything on our website. If you do read everything on our website and you still think that your writing is similar in some way or another and that the net might be wide enough for through-fare of cattle, then send it to us. It sounds boring and it is and it isn't.
Poetry Collections, Chapbooks and The Like, are especially sought after. We have these grand ambitions of making Poetry read by more people.
Nonetheless, some Fiction and Nonfiction ends up reading like poetry- you get these poets that write novels to appeal to a larger audience on the side plate- these are the ones we're talking about and we're interested in these too.
Novels, Novels, Novels, and Novellas by the same token.
Then there's The Surprise Package. The one that we didn't know we'd like but we did for some reason.
You catch the drifting willows.
General Submission Guidelines
Multiple submissions: obviously allowed.
Simultaneous: don't care. Don't even notify us.
Prize Terms and Conditions on our website.
100 words.
It's the absolute classic. The nail me to the cheeseboard and rinse out my underpants. We're all throwing tangerines at the shower curtain. How to tell everything in 100 words? It's the number 1 contest, played by all adorned in chicken hide.
Big Whoopie Deal is awarding 1000 BUCKAZOIDS (what are they, like the OG Bitcoin, created in some Japanese Pixelated Video Game from 1989 as a sort of digital currency, a precursor, a prophecy of sorts?) to the winner of this contest ($1000).
Remember, not 99, not 176. 100 only and maximum allowance.
General Submission Guidelines
Multiple submissions: obviously allowed.
Simultaneous: don't care. Don't even notify us.
Double space all submissions. If you don't we call the police.
General Submission Guidelines
Multiple submissions: obviously allowed.
Simultaneous: don't care. Don't even notify us.
Don't do a squiggly font.
Double space all submissions. If you're a poet, you can do what you want. We reserve the right to laugh at you though so make sure you know what you're doing.
People give it The Big I Am. They Talk The Talk. Bark Woof Woof. Diversity and Inclusion is not Just A Trend.
We are open for LGBTQIA+ submissions. This means inclusion. This means writers. All writers. To write about inclusion. Poetry. Nonfiction. Fiction. We want your words, your visual artwork, all the things in relation to LGBTQIA+. No mean feat. We shouldn't have to mention it, right? If it's equality, why do we need to say anything? Why is there a word for this? Let's tackle it head on for now. Some catch-up needs to be played. Some noise. A crushing perhaps. A wake-up, revolution, not evolution?
We want this platform to elevate the problems that humans have produced for themselves. A kick in the teeth no? In which direction this time? Some anger, but how to channel it? We're stuck. We've been stuck for some time.
Words got us into this. They'll get us out of it.
LGBTQIA+. Let's do this now.
General Submission Guidelines
Multiple submissions: obviously allowed.
Simultaneous: don't care. Don't even notify us.
Don't do a squiggly font.
Double space all submissions. If you're a poet, you can do what you want. We reserve the right to laugh at you though so make sure you know what you're doing.
It's still an issue. Black Lives Matter and we have to talk about it.
If it doesn't go away, we don't go away. Noise will be made.
Fiction, nonfiction, poetry, art, manuscripts are sought for the theme of Black Lives Matter for Big Whoopie Deal.
General Submission Guidelines
Multiple submissions: obviously allowed.
Simultaneous: don't care. Don't even notify us.
Don't do a squiggly font.
Double space all submissions. If you're a poet, you can do what you want. We reserve the right to laugh at you though so make sure you know what you're doing.